At the moment I am not ‘out’ about my AuDHD identity. I have disclosed to my line manager and one close friend who is a colleague is aware. No-one else knows. I’m fearful of disclosing even to my most trusted colleagues – once the information is out there it can’t be taken back. I think my rejection sensitivity is my main blocker but I’m also worried about the impact to my career and hour how I’m perceived.
There have been a few instances recently where I have been able to advocate for autistic, ADHD, and neurodivergent people generally. I can do that because I am in a senior role where people both listen to what I have to say, and because my role gives me opportunities to push my view forward.
So I found myself pondering how effective that advocacy would be if people knew I was AuDHD? I actually wonder if people would listen less? Would they see me as using my position to advocate for my own needs?
I am in a loop at the moment where I can’t decide what to do for the best. My husband does not want me to disclose, he thinks I will be discriminated against and he wants to protect me, I understand that. However, I feel duplicitous – to myself, to other neurodivergent colleagues who are open, and to the neurodivergent population generally.
What to do?!