If you asked me if given the choice would I like to be neurotypical, the answer would be a definite no. Although there are challenges to being AuDHD, now that I understand myself better, I am happy being me and like how my brain works. However, the one thing I would change is my experience of what is termed Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). It has been an ongoing challenge throughout my life both personally but also professionally as an academic. While being an academic allows me, to a large extent, to be able to indulge a lot of my neurodivergent characteristics through being able to research areas of interest in depth, and to have a variety of tasks and activities that make up my role. With the positives of being an academic, so too there are negatives. There is a culture of judgment in academia. An example of this is when we publish our research – our written work is scruitinised for its quality, if we put ourselves forward for sector recognition (such as the commonly sought Fellowship of the Higher Education Academy, FHEA) we are judged by our peers; similarly when we assess our students we are making a judgment on their work.
The culture of judgment in academia can be very hard for neurodivergent academics who suffer from RSD. I do use the word ‘suffer’ deliberately here because I feel that I suffer from its consequences. Even the slightest hint of rejection, real and perceived, or even the possibility of rejection – I get an immediate and very strong emotional response. For me that emotional response is manifested through my throat contracting making my voice break and sound upset, and my eyes will tear up. If I can’t get away from the trigger, I will then usually begin to cry and be unable to speak. It is impossible to regain full control once fully triggered and over threshold. I really hate the feeling of not being in control, I hate being perceived as emotional, I hate others thinking I am emotionally weak. My experience is common for neurodivergent individuals who are autistic and/or ADHD.
What does RSD look like?
Individuals with RSD may exhibit the following traits:
- They can judge themselves harshly and consequently find it difficult to feel good or be positive about themselves.
- Experience low self-esteem, low self-confidence, and anxiety, particularly in social settings.
- They are likely to seek external validation and approval.
- They often set unachievable goals or targets for themselves.
- They feel shame and embarrassment easily.
- They can be cautious about making personal or professional connections and friendships. Similarly, they can find it difficult to maintain these relationships.
- If they make a mistake or behave in a way that lets others down they will feel a very strong sense of failure.
- If they are excluded in any way, such as from a group or being able to take an opportunity, they will feel a strong sense of rejection.
- In new circumstances or where things are uncertain, they are likely to anticipate rejection or exclusion and therefore be more sensitive to any perceived rejection.
These elements can be experienced in any setting, but the individual who is sensitive to rejection can find their sensitivity to be extremely challenging in the work and professional environment. Their emotional reaction is not controllable or containable so expecting the neurodivergent person to be able to handle their emotions better is not reasonable.
There are things that people can do to support their neurodivergent colleagues:
- Think carefully about feedback so that it is appreciative and compassionate rather than critical
- Ensure that communication is as clear as possible and that there is an opportunity to ask clarifying questions.
- Welcome clarifying questions without seeing them as questioning authority or decisions.
- Where there is uncertainty, provide as much information and clarity as possible.
- Where some colleagues are included and others are not, be clear about the reasons for any exclusion.
- Ensure work is credited and acknowledged properly. People with RSD also usually have the opposite experience of “Recognition Responsive Euphoria” (RRE). RRE is when people experience intense happiness (euphoria) in response to positive recognition of their value or praise of their work and contributions.
Neurodivergent colleagues with RSD/RRE therefore thrive in positive and encouraging workplaces where there is support and safety and where mistakes are valued not criticised.
The labels of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) are deficit focused. The diagnostic criteria and common experience of being diagnosed is also deficit focused. Individuals who are likely to experience the intense feeling of rejection, commonly experience a type of rejection through the negative lens of diagnostic criteria. I like Hallowell and Ratey’s (2022) positively framed renaming of ADHD to variable attention stimulus trait (VAST). In their article they describe the pairing of traits in ADHD/VAST and how RSD and RRE are the flipsides of the same trait or a paired trait. With the right environment and encouragement these neurodivergent traits can be powerful and very positive.
I have created an Infographic which summarises this article. The infographic is available under a CC BY-NC-SA license.
References
Hallowell, M., & Ratey, J. (2022). ADHD needs a better name: We have one (updated). ADDitude. Retrieved from: https://www.additudemag.com/attention-deficit-disorder-vast/